High Voltage

Today was sad in that I learned about the death of a lady in town who was another victim of cancer. A husband left behind. Friends, family all affected. Let's just say it rang a bell. At work someone else in their work came across the subject with me, and I think they caught themself even before halfpoint realizing they were talking about cancer to me; a man who day after day danced with that evil thing which threatened the well being of my daughters, and directly my wife. People react differently. Some won't bring it up to me which I kind of hate when I see that happen. Others mow me down! I guess you can't have it all. It isn't an isolated thing. Many people have been victim to cancer and there will be more. I wish it weren't the truth but it is.
But this one was good in that the thoughts all got layed out there, and I was able to think about those left behind. The person is no longer in pain. I suppose being told the outcome one year and a half before it happened that two years would be almost unheard of... there is no cure. You go home and you live this grim reality day to day. It is looking back like being hooked up to high voltage and there is no circuit breaker. Amazing things come through faith. Grace evolves quite mysteriously. But it is very hard to describe. And I was thrown out on the other side, and had a profound different way of looking at this world. You aren't guaranteed anything. You have two children.... daughters! And their needs are yours. But I understand how people die from this.... the survivor!! And it takes some really hard work coming back from that. But these children forced me faster than I would have otherwise to get up, put on a good front until I felt it naturally. And within that I remembered the grim lesson. You aren't promised tommorow. You had better read that again. It may need to sink in if you've never had any of this stuff happen to you and yours. Because it will take your breath away. I am reminded today because of so many people who knew Betsy. I never had the privilege, just sort of missed her even in this small town. But she was loved greatly. So it reminded me of a time which for me I've had to keep movin, but was incredibly stressful. High Voltage. You learn to live this way and I've met people who lived this way five times the time we did. So I'm no expert and never want to be the expert. Less pressure that way. I do shed a lot of things that used to be important. You had better live, live like it is your last. This is not negative. It's real. Love the ones around you; don't hang too hard on lofty future things. Day at a time is ideal, yet some times the hardest thing on Earth! But I landed on the other side and I was sure I was going to be jaded forever. I thank God I wasn't however. For whatever reason, as someone said today... may be your purpose is still in motion. May your purpose also stay in motion. And thank God for those who have been and played their part. Stay Happy. Keep it simple. Don't text and drive. I guess to close, Keep it Simple. Love. Paul