What do you do with Good Ole Boys Like Me?

Often when I have to write a title, I just enter whatever is up there in the 'attic of my mind'. I had just happened to have been thinking about the Don Williams song of this title. I own a truck, but suspect many dont and wouldn't classify me in the good ole boy category. But I don't know if there is a hard and fast litmus test for these things. I don't think I'm bad; therefore I've got good going for me. Ole is a word.. let me go back to the song and how Don uses it. Well, upon thinking about it Don is talking about men who aren't teenagers, so I might well qualify for Ole too! That leaves boy. Will still have to refer to Don and his song and how he uses it. I think it just simply means not girl, so yes.. using amazing powers of logic I am a Good Ole boy! didn't know that. And to further don's song.. what do you do with them?
I hope some of you have been able to at least smile at the above. I was having fun with it. The song belongs in my top few hundred songs for a lot of reasons. It is a soothing song. The lyrics use powerful images, and describes a man who is going back in his mind at different times; the first part his childhood. How his father woud come in at night with "Gin on his breath, and a bible in his hand". Talking about honor and good things the boy should no.. then stagger a little as he exited the door. This is powerful songwriting. with the right chords, which Don provides.

Proud to at this time announce that I don't think any of the above just matters a whole lot to this post. I do like the way the song lyrics say, "And those williams boys they still mean a lot to me.... Hank and Tennessee". That's talent, man. I guess it matters if you like Don williams or not. Don is older guy, my only chance to ever see him would be Tunica or the place in Missouri. I still would like to see him, but it is possible Don doesn't tour anymore. He has this raspy but gentle low voice and I can listen to entire disc of his stuff and music can make me happy.

September was by far the worst month after Susie wasn't here any more. The acorns had only started being freed from their oak trees, and so I will never forget that period of time. The house empty. So empty. And the whole house all throughout the day being bombarded by these huge acorns which always took a long time to totally bounce down the house and into the yard. I swear if acorns could be converted to gasoline or gold or something, I would be a rich man. 50 oak trees give or take inside my back yard. Squirrel heaven! You should see these healthy and big old squirrels!

As to how we are. I know we are doing better. At first your mind plays this trick on you that if you start getting better, that means you are bad because you are forgetting Susie and not being crushed and crying all day must mean it all didn't mean that much to you. I've been through too much pain by now to believe that or even listen to that. we survived Thanksgiving. It was very hard because we missed Susie dearly. You don't spend that long with someone and not have the equivalent of phantom pain (when someone loses a leg they claim they still feel it because to the brain it has been there always). December is not going to be an easy month. Susie would have turned 42 this year? Six months younger than me. We used to joke about that. Today is Susie's birthday. I spent this week bracing. Thought I would have a tailspin like I have for every other thing that has happened. It didn't happen this time. Doesn't mean I'm not only aware of the day. It just means that I am powerless about it. Of course there is a sadness. But if Abbey tonight wants to laugh and play should I abstain and not let this sweet child laugh? We all know this answer. Susie would lead the way were she here about it. If I had not come back from the hospital during my time of trouble; I knew in the hospital that Susie would do things right. I was 39 then. I was awake but noone knew it. I could hear everything being said, but could not even move a finger. yet I pictured susie and how practical she was and knew the children would always be taken care of... and that Susie would in time probably marry again. You would think that would have bothered me since I had nothing to do but think. Yet I had confidence Susie would survive... even in the big cancer fight, susie was a survivor until the cancer just dominated. 10 years ago or more she and I were going down I 40 in Knoxville going to dinner most probably. We were talking and she said, If something happens to you, I would never marry again you know. I was driving and so probably just said, "Oh is that right?" and playfully she said right. Then after a pause, she playfully said, "I take that back... I might have to marry again, but I'll never love him as much as you." Of course we were young and kidding one another on a beautiful night on the way to one of our favorite restaurants. In the hospital I did just want to say one thing. Be Careful. Make sure He doesn't lie, hit, or worse not care for those children. Yet I also had great confidence in her that her love for these kids would make that a given anyway.
I'm sorry Susie did not see her birthday. Yet if she were to be in the shape that the cancer was starting to cause her to be in pain and very uncomfortable; Susie herself was ready... more than anyone else I've ever at this point in my life known. If they celebrate birthdays in heaven, it will be a spectacle! The rest of us of course miss her sorely. Yet this is one of first times that I have peacefully accepted this today. Of course today is brand new. The first person who would be telling us all to snap out of it would be Susie.
Thanks for listening