Today was sad in that I learned about the death of a lady in town who was another victim of cancer. A husband left behind. Friends, family all affected. Let's just say it rang a bell. At work someone else in their work came across the subject with me, and I think they caught themself even before halfpoint realizing they were talking about cancer to me; a man who day after day danced with that evil thing which threatened the well being of my daughters, and directly my wife. People react differently. Some won't bring it up to me which I kind of hate when I see that happen. Others mow me down! I guess you can't have it all. It isn't an isolated thing. Many people have been victim to cancer and there will be more. I wish it weren't the truth but it is.
But this one was good in that the thoughts all got layed out there, and I was able to think about those left behind. The person is no longer in pain. I suppose being told the outcome one year and a half before it happened that two years would be almost unheard of... there is no cure. You go home and you live this grim reality day to day. It is looking back like being hooked up to high voltage and there is no circuit breaker. Amazing things come through faith. Grace evolves quite mysteriously. But it is very hard to describe. And I was thrown out on the other side, and had a profound different way of looking at this world. You aren't guaranteed anything. You have two children.... daughters! And their needs are yours. But I understand how people die from this.... the survivor!! And it takes some really hard work coming back from that. But these children forced me faster than I would have otherwise to get up, put on a good front until I felt it naturally. And within that I remembered the grim lesson. You aren't promised tommorow. You had better read that again. It may need to sink in if you've never had any of this stuff happen to you and yours. Because it will take your breath away. I am reminded today because of so many people who knew Betsy. I never had the privilege, just sort of missed her even in this small town. But she was loved greatly. So it reminded me of a time which for me I've had to keep movin, but was incredibly stressful. High Voltage. You learn to live this way and I've met people who lived this way five times the time we did. So I'm no expert and never want to be the expert. Less pressure that way. I do shed a lot of things that used to be important. You had better live, live like it is your last. This is not negative. It's real. Love the ones around you; don't hang too hard on lofty future things. Day at a time is ideal, yet some times the hardest thing on Earth! But I landed on the other side and I was sure I was going to be jaded forever. I thank God I wasn't however. For whatever reason, as someone said today... may be your purpose is still in motion. May your purpose also stay in motion. And thank God for those who have been and played their part. Stay Happy. Keep it simple. Don't text and drive. I guess to close, Keep it Simple. Love. Paul
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It is strange how the things that seem to tear us down the most,actually are the things that build us up the most...I can relate this to so many things we deal with daily...For example....
ReplyDeleteOver the week between Christmas and new years,we have been painting our upstairs...During the process,the furniture was scattered,drop cloths everywhere,everything out of place,and in a total mess...It's hard,at that time to see any benefit or gain,and wonder if it's really worth all the trouble..Then,after it's all over with,and things start to get back in order again,you begin to see the improvement,and the gains from the days of dealing with the things you don't like,and the ugly parts of the process...Finally,it's over,and you can then enjoy the total benefits of all the hardship involved...
Problem is,as you come in and see the walls on a daily basis,you stop noticeing the new colors and fresh look..As months go by,it turns from new to common,and then as more time goes by,even old again,and in need of re-painting...But,as the re-painting occurs,you are able to use lessons learned from the previous time to make the second job even easier,with less hardship,and still be able to reap the same benefits as before....
There are those that walk in every day,and think about how much they like the colors,and never want to change them....When and if they do re-paint,they go back with the same colors....These are the people that we consider to be boring and afraid of leaveing their comfort zone...There may be colors out there that they would enjoy even more,but without leaveing their comfort zone,they will never find out, and will never enjoy the benefits...They go through the same efforts and trouble as someone that completely changes the appearance,but are still stuck with the same ole,and are never rewarded with the what could be...
I say,be that color changer...Take the chances,and enjoy what comes from them...Life is a lot like paint...You may not like the way a color looks on the walls,even though it looked good on the swatch,and you may not like the way 2 colors go together,but with a little effort,it's completely changeable,and we,for the most part,have total control to change it...We just have to wait for it to dry before we put new over it,or maybe even put a primer to block the old color from bleeding through the new,but it's changeable none the less...
In your situation,you were dealing with the colors of your comfort zone for a long time,then they were scratched up and faded with sickness,stress and loss...Now,you're repainting...Maybe just a room at a time,but you're doing it,and youre changeing the colors as you go...Only problem for you is that you had no choice but to change colors,because your old colors were discontinued so to speak..Now,you just have to make sure that you use the right colors that will bring you the most enjoyment...Sooner than later,the job will be over,and even though the walls may get scuffed or for some reason you remove a piece of trim and reveal some of that old paint that was covered up,you'll be quick to get out your brush and touch the spots up,because you enjoy the new colors,and don't want them to be screwed up by the spots of the old that show up,even though at one time they were your favorite.....So..
Keep painting Paul!!!!! When someone has the same colors as you did,be the first to suggest new ones,and they will listen..You will even be able to make the job somewhat easier on them by shareing what you have learned,and can even help brush,roll,tape off,or whatever you feel like would be the most help for that particular person...
Randy D.
I loved it Randy! Only thing is best way I could help in real painting is to get out of the way! But I got it... and appreciate it! Paul
ReplyDeleteRandy - Hi - I'm Laura a friend of Paul's from the old autism board. I loved your analogy about painting and colors and the ability to change things in our lives. We all need to keep moving forward, exploring new options while enjoying what's right there in front of us as well.
ReplyDeleteLaura