Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was bar none Susie's favorite holiday. Year round, the happiest I ever saw Susie in hundreds of situations, were when family was overflowing in the house. You could not disquise the smile, the way she was capable of laughing easier and just a lot of little things.

We are all going to each individually have her on our minds this Thanksgiving. Not one person will be able to go through the motions without it being a large hole that cannot be filled. There are a lot of people still in great pain over this very great shock that she will not be here on that day. From the beginning of the morning before anyone showed up yet, Susie was in her own state of bliss. Very organized, scanning every corner, accounting for all things big and small that would make for a wonderful place to gather, for family and of course, to eat. She was everywhere at once, more concerned with the fact your tea glass was running low than if she had gotten her own meal and eaten it. Every year it was easily one of the happiest days of the year for Susie. She truly found ways to show her love for the people assembled with little things.

In September, which was a lost month to me. Almost with amnesia, it is hard to remember much about it, other than I was very painfully aware of just how much life she pumped in through this home. You only can know the raw and painful feeling of its absence when she was physically gone; a huge crater left where even when sick and weak, she was able to emanate. When we took our vacation, none of us had any idea that it would be just a matter of weeks before our dear wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and more would be gone.

I had had to see this manilla envelope for over half a year whenever I opened a particular drawer. It was taped very tight and it said, 'only to be opened in the event of Susan Putman Motheral's death'. I had the reaction everytime I saw it; I don't ever want to have to open this. When I did, I was shocked most by the brevity of it all. How little she had put in this envelope. Sheets of paper with paragraphs
and each had different wishes or requests for me to honor and carry out
The one that matters tonight is a paragraph that our house must continue to be the host home for Thanksgiving> It was important to Susie that the family not be splintered and that our girls know their family she added it was her favorite holiday and this request was one of the few just heartfelt requests as opposed to other paragraphs that could be labeled unfinished business regarding her posessions et cetera

Despite the sadness that will be felt everyone must realize how important it was for Susie to have written that down I feel in spirit she will be here and it will be a happy feeling although the absence will no doubt cause each of us to have moments of the impact of not having her crusing amongst the groups eating making sure all was well silently beaming and enjoying what she wrote in her paragraph as the happiest day of the year for her she didn"t want sadness and we shouldnt let her down although at times i know i will even now its too early for me to be able to encapsulate this last two years and the extreme emotions just i alone have gone through i will have perspective someday but i know one thing and that is i am going to honor her request with everything i have i sincerely wish a happy thanksgiving to you all at a point during it look around you and relish what you see before you Paul